Am I being simulated by their love affair?

Page 219

He walked past the bulletin board on the school's main street; the election notices posted a week earlier were slightly curled up due to the damp weather. The voices of students on the street were drowned out by the rain. Jun Matsueda went into the classroom and placed his umbrella on the umbrella stand by the classroom door.

Moving to the back row, Tomatsu Yuka looked much healthier today, and the girl was looking at her English book, seemingly back to normal.

Mochizuki Haruka arrived earlier than usual. She rested her chin on her hand, idly flipping through the Japanese history textbook in front of her, until the boy approached, at which point she looked up.

"Songzhi arrived a little late today."

“Walking is definitely slower than cycling on rainy days,” Jun Matsue said, putting down his bag. “But you’ve been coming very early these past few days.”

"Because I haven't felt like sleeping in lately," the girl replied with a smile, while Tomatsu Yuka glanced at her from the other side.

After the school bell rang, Jun Matsueda handed a note to the girl on his right.

How are you feeling today?

Tomatsu Tomohana quickly handed it back, saying, "I slept for a really long time yesterday, but I feel much better now. Thank you for taking care of me, Matsu-san!"

She waited for a while but didn't receive a second note. The girl gently bit her tongue and looked at the blackboard with regret.

It seems that the defenses that Songzhi briefly loosened yesterday have now been re-erected...

After the third period ended, Kominato Shoko stepped down from the podium and looked towards the back of the classroom.

"Matsue and Tomatsu, please come to my office later. The school has sent out a survey about the new schedule. Please fill it out later."

“Okay.” Jun Matsue nodded, and the girl beside him smiled unconsciously. The two left the classroom together.

Due to the drop in temperature, there were quite a few people in the corridor these past two days. The female teacher's figure quickly disappeared into the floating crowd, leaving only the boy and girl to receive the gazes of those around them.

Tomatsu Yuka closed the distance between herself and the boy next to her. She raised her hand to comb the black hair behind her ear, and the girl's arm inadvertently brushed against Matsueda Jun's clothes.

"Matsueda-kun, is the election committee matter almost over?"

"More or less." The boy pondered, looking at the classroom sign for Class 4, Grade 3 ahead. "The formal speech will probably take place around the middle of the month, followed by the vote count."

"That's great." The girl's smile became a bright spot in the otherwise dull space.

"My biggest regret now is that I didn't replace Matsueda on the election committee."

"..." Jun Matsue paused for a moment, then glanced at the girl beside him.

He and his senior didn't become close because of the election, but it's a bit strange to explain it now. The boy turned his head and looked at the classroom they had just passed.

The seat where Yamami Maki sat was empty. Was she not here, or had she not come to school?

After following the girl beside him and turning at the end of the corridor, Jun Matsueda got his answer. Maki Yami walked towards them, carrying a stack of papers.

As she walked towards them, her face first showed her usual gentle smile when she saw the two of them. Then, as if remembering something, the smile tightened, and she looked at Tomatsu Yuka's face in a panic.

"Um, good morning, Matsue-san... Good morning, Yuka."

Yamami Maki mustered her courage and greeted her, but Tomatsu Yuka did not respond. The girl's gaze remained fixed on the road ahead, without shifting in the slightest, and her expression remained unchanged as she walked past her senior.

Matsueda Jun watched as the hopeful smile on his senior's face immediately faded. He sighed inwardly and walked up to Yamami Maki with a smile on his face.

"Good morning, senior. Is that the survey form for the new schedule?"

The boy deliberately raised his voice, and Tomatsu Yuka, who had already walked away, turned around and looked at the two people closing in behind her. Their shoulders were almost touching.

Yamami Maki looked up at the girl in the distance, her expression becoming even more flustered. After exchanging a few words with the boy beside her, the senior hurriedly left.

Tomatsu Yuka watched as Matsueda Jun returned to her, and the two continued towards the teachers' office. As they went up the stairs, the girl suddenly asked a question.

"Did your senior tell you to keep it a secret before?"

The boy nodded. There was no need to lie about this, because concealing things was not something he would do.

“As expected…” Tomatsu Yuka’s tone was very complicated, “I hate seniors like that.”

Even if this pushes her further towards Matsueda's side, I still hate her.

Matsueda Jun could only remain silent. From Tomatsu Yuka's perspective, she was certainly not wrong. From beginning to end, it was Yamami Maki and him who were in the wrong.

The girl slowed her pace, and the sadness that had been well hidden began to surge again. She looked at the gloomy sky outside the window without saying a word.

She just wanted to make Matsueda like her, so why did the two people closest to her end up liking each other?

"Jun-kun... I really want to hate you."

"But I can't do it."

Jun Matsue stopped in his tracks. The girl wiped her eyes and forced a smile.

"Let's go, we still need to get the survey forms, don't we?"

The two were even more silent on their way back than on their way there. Tomatsu Yuka stared blankly at the sky, lost in thought.

Back in the classroom, Jun Matsue kept glancing at Tomoka Tomatsu's profile out of the corner of his eye until the bell rang, at which point he looked at the teacher on the podium.

This matter must be resolved as soon as possible; neither Tomatsu nor the senior can maintain this situation in the long run.

He took out his phone from the drawer and sent a message to Yamami Maki.

"Senior, can we meet at noon?"

Just before class ended, the girl replied to her vibrating phone.

"it is good."

So after lunch, Jun Matsueda met Maki Yamami sitting by the window in an empty classroom.

The girl's expression as she gazed out the window was somewhat similar to that of her junior, but she seemed more lost, and her former calm and composed demeanor had vanished.

Jun Matsue closed the classroom door, sat down next to Maki Yami, and gently hugged her.

The girl was a little awkward at first, but after feeling the familiar body temperature and touch, she gently rubbed her cheek against the boy's shoulder as usual.

Physical touch is more comforting than verbal reassurance; this is a truth they have long practiced.

"Thank you for your hard work, senior." Matsueda Jun said softly, patting the girl's back with his right hand.

After two days of anxiety and confusion, Yamami Maki finally found a place for her emotions to rest, and she couldn't help but cry softly.

"Matsueda-kun, what should I do?"

The girl asked helplessly.

Chapter 389 Selfishness is Happiness

The girl, with her back to the gloomy sky outside the window, wept softly in Matsueda Jun's arms.

For Maki Yami, her high school life, which was about to end, was originally fulfilling and satisfying.

Haneoka High School in Mitaka City was an unexpected interlude in her life; the girl tried, failed, and succeeded. Yamami Maki accepted these novel and unfamiliar experiences with a calm and accepting attitude, like watching a movie, ready to greet the ending with a mix of melancholy and anticipation.

However, Tomatsu Yuka's anger and tears were like a sharp knife, mercilessly slicing through the screen in front of Yamami Maki, allowing her to glimpse her own selfishness and ugliness.

Jun Matsue gently patted his senior's back to soothe her emotions. The boy looked out the window at the continuous rain, having not heard the cicadas for several days.

After the girl's crying gradually subsided, and she silently breathed against his shoulder, Jun Matsueda finally spoke.

"Does the senior regret it now?"

Yamami Maki's body, which had been rising and falling with her breathing, stopped abruptly. She looked up, her expression somewhat bewildered.

"What do you mean?"

"Does the senior regret choosing me now?" Jun Matsue looked into the girl's eyes.

Because of the senior's stubbornness, even now, the two are not in a romantic relationship, so he did not use the word "dating" or similar terms.

Yamami Maki shook her head slowly but firmly.

"I was very happy when I was with Songzhi, happier than I had ever been before, so I have no regrets."

"But Yuka is so sad and upset now, it's all my fault..."

"Maybe things would have turned out better if we hadn't kept it from her..."

"Or I could be more rational and wait until after graduation to get closer to Songzhi."

The girl did have regrets, but she only regretted not finding the best solution, which led to the breakdown of her relationship with Yuka.

Matsueda Jun finally breathed a sigh of relief. "In that case, you don't need to ask me what to do."

"I won't give up on my senior. Does she intend to give up on me?"

Yamami Maki shook her head more decisively, shifting her gaze elsewhere and avoiding eye contact with the boy.

"But Yuka..."

“Given Matsu’s current state, you two definitely can’t be friends,” Jun Matsueda calmly pointed out this reality.

Despite saying that, he did not relay Tomatsu Yuka's "I hate her" to his senior—Matsueda Jun did not intend to play the role of a mouthpiece for the time being, lest the girls' relationship become even worse because of him.

The girl's shoulders hunched, as if the cold rain outside had seeped into her body. She lowered her head, hugged her arms, and didn't know what to say.

The boy put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Tomatsu is angry right now. Going to her now might just provoke her."

"We can only consider how to deal with it after everyone has calmed down for a while."

This is Jun Matsueda's answer: accept reality.

The deed is done, and there is no other way but to accept it. In fact, he doesn't think it's all a bad thing—his relationship with his senior was bound to be exposed sooner or later, and the new beginning that Yami Maki was looking forward to after graduation was just wishful thinking, because Tomatsu Yuka is not the kind of person who would give up easily.

So since it's bound to erupt sooner or later, revealing it before its destructive power continues to build might be a good choice.

"But, I'm sorry to Yuka..." the girl murmured, her conscience constantly questioning her these past few days.

"Does the senior feel sorry for taking away the person the junior likes, or does she feel sorry for deceiving the junior?" the boy asked calmly.

“...Yes, I have them all.” She lowered her head even further.

Matsueda Jun sighed, and suddenly slapped his hands against the girl's face. Yami Maki looked up in surprise, her face, which had been squeezed and deformed, looked cute and confused.

"Senior, would you be happy if you gave me to Tomatsu?" the boy said softly. "That would be fair to her, but would it be fair to me and to yourself?"

The girl blinked, and some color returned to her pupils.

“There is no right or wrong in love,” Jun Matsueda continued. “Or rather, people are all selfish.”

"Compared to the happiness of others, our own happiness is always put first. This is the base principle of humankind."

"Perhaps someone can transcend this standard; such a person is a saint, and it certainly won't be us."

He vigorously rubbed the girl's face, and Yami Maki did not resist, but just listened silently to what the boy said.

"Senior, has someone ever told you that family is the most important thing, and everything should be done in service of the family?"

Jun Matsue asked the question that had been bothering him all along.

This is a great opportunity. He wants to correct not only Yami Maki's views on love, but more importantly, her values ​​and outlook on life.

Only in this way can he see more of the girl's smiling face.

Maki Yami nodded. From childhood to adulthood, this was what her parents, grandparents, and tutors had all told her.

Jun Matsueda leaned close to the girl's face, their foreheads touching. Maki Yami could even feel the air currents created by the boy's eyelashes fluttering.

“That’s not how it is.” He stared into the girl’s eyes and said, word by word.

"Yamami Maki, your own happiness is the most important thing."

“I know that even if I say this to you now, your opinion won’t change immediately.”

Jun Matsue is very self-aware; the values ​​and beliefs that his senior had formed over more than ten years of education could not be changed by just one sentence from him.

"But I still hope that you can keep this sentence firmly in mind."

"Whether it's school, major, hobbies, or life direction, love and marriage, what matters more than considering others is what you want to do yourself."

"So even if you stole the person Tomatsu liked, you weren't wrong."

"Moreover, I do not belong to Tomatsu Tomoka, nor to Yamami Maki."

"This is a multiple-choice question. I chose you myself, and you are just responding to my choice."

The boy released his hands, and Yamami Maki didn't make any further movements; she seemed to be stunned on the spot.

"I don't know..." the girl said, somewhat confused.

Her grandfather and father both told her that the prosperity of the family is the happiness of its members.

The teachers also told her that giving is the most important thing, and that noble people always have others in their hearts.

"You'll know once you try it."