Love Apartment: The All-Around Comedian

Page 106

Su Mingyang boasted, "What's so special about that? Teacher Zeng, you're driving a convertible now."

"It's just borrowed."

Zeng Xiaoxian waved his hand, "Mingyang, you already have Wanyu, and I'm still single."

"Me too."

Lu Zhanbo said dejectedly.

Su Mingyang joked, "So what if I have a girlfriend? I still have to warm the bed myself."

Upon hearing this, Zeng Xiaoxian and Lu Zhanbo both twitched at the corners of their mouths.

Thinking to himself, "So, having a girlfriend is just for warming up the bed?" Su Mingyang continued to complain, "Not only does she not warm up my bed, but she also treats me like a hand warmer."

"How to say"

Zeng Xiaoxian asked curiously.

Su Mingyang said, "Just this morning, her hands were ice-cold. She put them right behind my neck, and I almost froze to death. I said a couple of things to her, and she said she'd kiss me as compensation, but only on the cheek. I said one kiss wasn't enough... I wanted ten, but she wouldn't have it, so she only kissed me three times in the end. Tell me, what's the point of having a girlfriend like that?"

"Uh"

Zeng Xiaoxian and Lu Zhanbo exchanged a glance, unsure how to respond, and felt intensely uncomfortable.

My stomach, which had just digested, suddenly started acting up again.

After a while, Zeng Xiaoxian realized that he had been fed dog food (a Chinese slang term for witnessing public displays of affection), and he was so upset that he should have known better than to ask! Lu Zhanbo was ten times more depressed than Zeng Xiaoxian. Zeng Xiaoxian had also been in relationships before, but he was a complete idiot when it came to love. He had never even held a girl's hand in his entire life.

Being kissed by a girl is even more out of the question.

It can only happen occasionally, once in a dream.

Seeing their reactions, Su Mingyang smiled slightly, feeling quite pleased.

When he was single, he used to get really annoyed seeing and hearing other couples showing off their love. Why couldn't they just be affectionate in their own home? Why did they have to show it off to outsiders? Now he understands: showing off your love doesn't necessarily mean you'll die quickly, but it's definitely fun! Just as the two single guys were feeling down, Guan Gu Shenqi stormed in angrily.

"Sekiya-kun."

Seeing Guan Gu Shenqi like this, Lu Zhanbo suspected that he had also been fed dog food (a Chinese slang term for witnessing public displays of affection).

Guan Gu Shenqi angrily threw his backpack on the sofa and said to everyone, "Don't call me Guan Gu-kun, please call me Zhonghuan Shisanlang!"

Su Mingyang smiled and clasped his hands in greeting to Guan Gu Shenqi: "Hello, Zhonghuan Shisanlang, I am Yitian Shisanlang."

Zeng Xiaoxian looked at Su Mingyang, a few black lines appearing on his forehead.

Guan Gu Shenqi didn't understand, scratching the back of his head as he asked, "Mingyang Jun, what do you mean by 'One Day Thirteen'?"

Lu Zhanbo was also very curious.

"Well, it's something that can only be understood intuitively, not explained in words."

Su Mingyang laughed and said, "Let's talk about how you got the title of 'Thirteenth Master of Central'."

Guan Gu Shenqi nodded, looking annoyed, and said, "I just took a taxi back, and that driver actually took me on a thirteen-fold loop around the Central Ring Road!"

Su Mingyang concluded, "Then Guan Gu, you've been tricked."

Guan Gu Shenqi angrily said, "Damn it! I told him I didn't know the way, and when I asked him what to do, he said it was okay, the earth is round, so he started going around in circles."

"Hahaha"

Zeng Xiaoxian chuckled mischievously and exclaimed excitedly, "Well done!"

Guan Gu Shenqi stared wide-eyed in confusion and asked, "What?!"

Su Mingyang and Lu Zhanbo also didn't understand what Zeng Xiaoxian meant by those words.

Zeng Xiaoxian quickly explained, "Ah, what I mean is, Guangu, you've completed thirteen laps, which means the roads were very clear today, so I'm relieved."

Guan Gu Shenqi suddenly realized, "I see! Teacher Zeng heard you're going to be on TV, congratulations!"

At this moment, Su Mingyang suddenly recalled this classic traffic jam scene from the TV series. It seemed that the traffic jam didn't clear the road until night, and Zeng Xiaoxian missed the live TV broadcast because of it.

Thinking of this, Su Mingyang reminded her, "Teacher Zeng, just because it's not congested now doesn't mean it won't be later. In order to participate in the live broadcast smoothly, you should be more careful. I suggest you don't take the Middle Ring Road, or ride an electric scooter."

"It's alright, Mingyang. What a coincidence!"

Zeng Xiaoxian waved his hand and raised an eyebrow, "Besides, where would I get an electric scooter?"

Even if there were an electric scooter, he wouldn't ride it. Wouldn't a convertible be better? It costs 1200! How can he not drive it to show off? "Fine, whatever."

Su Mingyang pursed his lips. "If there really is a traffic jam, I have a solution."

"What method?"

Zeng Xiaoxian asked curiously.

Su Mingyang laughed and said, "Just jump off the overpass and hail a taxi."

Zeng Xiaoxian: ""

Lu Zhanbo imagined the scene and said in horror, "Wouldn't Teacher Zeng have to break both of her legs?"

"Yes, Lord Mingyang, this method won't work."

Guan Gu Shenqi chimed in.

Su Mingyang laughed and said, "You don't understand. A radio host jumped off an overpass for her dream. How admirable! All the major news media will definitely rush to report on this. Teacher Zeng will become famous all over the country and soar to the top. She'll be inundated with advertising endorsements, luxury cars, and beautiful women. Just thinking about it is wonderful."

Hearing this, Zeng Xiaoxian pondered for two seconds, then chuckled mischievously, "Haha, Mingyang, now that you mention it, I actually hope for a traffic jam."

Lu Zhanbo: ""

Guan Gu Shenqi: ""

Chapter 125 Where is my Wanyu?

"Haha, just kidding."

Zeng Xiaoxian smiled, his face full of anticipation, "I'm waiting for all the spotlights to come on, and then I'll make my dazzling entrance."

Guan Gu asked curiously, "So, how do you plan to make a dazzling entrance?"

"I've made up my mind, do you want to see it?"

Without saying a word, Zeng Xiaoxian ran outside, then waved his hands and strode in with a seductive gait.

Su Mingyang, Guan Gu Shenqi, and Lu Zhanbo stared at him blankly.

Zeng Xiaoxian asked with a smile, "How was it?"

Guan Gu's lips twitched slightly as he commented, "Not bad, like a monkey that escaped from a circus troupe."

Hearing this, Zeng Xiaoxian rolled his eyes and retorted, "Pah! My action is meant to be done with everyone on and off stage. If you guys don't cheer and 'Oh! Oh! Oh!', I'll look like an idiot."

Su Mingyang joked, "Be more confident, Teacher Zeng, and remove the image."

Zeng Xiaoxian: ""

At this moment, Lü Ziqiao walked in, gesturing wildly and screaming:

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Are you all ready to be on TV, our superstar!" Zeng Xiaoxian responded excitedly, as it was rare to have someone cooperate with him.

Guan Gu Shenqi said speechlessly:

Ah, another monkey has escaped from the circus!

Lu Zhanbo asked curiously, "How did you know that Teacher Zeng was going to be on TV, Ziqiao?"

Lu Ziqiao raised an eyebrow and said: How could I not know? Teacher Zeng has already...

My QQ account and even the online dating profile for Love Apartment have all been changed to "I'm going to be on TV!"

Guan Gu Shenqi took out his phone and complained:

He also sent out mass text messages; I received three of them myself!

Lu Ziqiao asked curiously, "Teacher Zeng, what show are you going to be on? 'Night Fragrance of Women'?"

Zeng Xiaoxian explained helplessly, "It's a promise with Ruyu."

"What, buddy? You haven't even made your way in the Chinese-language television industry yet, have you? Everyone knows I don't get along with Chen Ruyu!"

After Lu Ziqiao finished speaking with an exaggerated expression, seeing Su Mingyang and the others looking at him curiously, he continued to explain, "Four years ago, I was an audience member on her show. During the recording, I confessed my feelings to her, but it ended badly. Good heavens! That incident almost ruined both of our acting careers!"

"My goodness, Ziqiao, you even had an acting career!"

Su Danyang looked at Lü Ziqiao in disbelief. Seeing the latter nod proudly, he teased, "I bet you're going to make adult films."

Upon hearing this, Lü Ziqiao's lips twitched, and he almost fell to the ground.

"How could I, Lü Ziqiao, have ever done such a thing!"

Lu Ziqiao firmly denied it, then pondered for two seconds, before raising an eyebrow at everyone with a sly grin, "But if there's a chance, giving it a try isn't out of the question."

""

"Oh, right, I just remembered something else. What do you guys think of this entrance effect?"

Zeng Xiaoxian had a sudden inspiration, ran out the door, put one hand in his pocket and the other on his forehead, walked back in with his head down as if deep in thought, and his expression changed instantly, revealing a completely silly face.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Lu Ziqiao immediately cheered enthusiastically.

Zeng Xiaoxian smiled with satisfaction: "Ha! Look, this is the entrance effect I wanted!"