Am I being simulated by their love affair?

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"Yes, yes." The boy smiled.

The bright yet slightly melancholic girl he had just seen seemed to be just his imagination.

So why are you standing at the door?

Yosuke Kurusu pouted, "I left in such a hurry yesterday that I forgot my keys."

"I'll open the door for you right away." Jun Matsue switched the plastic bag containing the ingredients from his right hand to his left hand and took out the key from his pocket.

The girl didn't take a step; she simply turned around and looked at the boy's back as he stood in front of the metal door.

“Matsue, I didn’t come back to pretend nothing happened.”

Jun Matsue paused for a moment.

"Ah."

"We haven't finished talking about what we were saying last night." She crossed her arms.

"Ah."

The boy put away his keys and pushed open the door. He didn't go inside, but turned his head and looked at the girl with a questioning gaze.

Looking inside the door, Yosei Kurusu saw the slippers on the entryway floor, the long dining table stretching as far as the eye could see, and her bag on it, containing the keys she had forgotten.

"But we're all hungry right now, so let's have a proper dinner first."

The girl, with her long hair flowing, walked past Jun Matsuoka and gracefully entered the living room.

"What would you like to eat tonight?" Jun Matsue asked as he walked into the kitchen and put on an apron.

"Didn't you already buy groceries?" Kurusu Yosei, sitting on the sofa, glanced at him. "I was just planning to cook whatever was available."

It seemed that trying to please her with such tricks was useless... He obediently washed his hands, chopped vegetables, and started cooking.

Jun Matsuo bought a simple set of groceries: seasonal mushrooms, some vegetables, and scallions, ginger, and garlic. He wasn't in a good mood today and planned to have some mushroom noodle soup to warm himself up.

He first threw the shiitake mushrooms into the pot and stir-fried them briefly, then threw all the other ingredients into the pot, added water and seasonings, and walked out of the kitchen while waiting for them to cook.

Since Yosuke Kurusu wasn't in the living room, he casually turned on the TV, trying to create some ambient noise. Hearing the noise, the girl peeked out from her bedroom.

"Is it time to eat?"

"Almost there, just a few more minutes." Jun Matsue kept changing channels with the remote control, trying to make himself look very busy.

The girl walked out of the bedroom and sat at the dining table, while the boy sat on the sofa, back to back.

"You must have been pretty free after school today, why didn't you go see your girlfriend?" Yosei Kurusu suddenly asked.

Jun Matsueda stopped changing the channel. "She's not in Tokyo right now."

The girl stopped asking questions. He stared at the advertisement on the TV screen. Yosuke Kurusu looked at the camera, his eyes gleaming with an otherworldly light.

The soup pot simmering with mushrooms soon began to bubble and simmer. Jun Matsue returned to the kitchen and added vegetables and noodles.

As Jun Matsue placed the two bowls of mushroom noodles on the table, he quickly noticed something amiss—the girl was sitting in his usual spot.

"Didn't you want to watch TV?"

Yosuke Kurusu moved the bowl in front of him, picked up his chopsticks, and said, "I don't want to watch today."

The sound of two people slurping noodles filled the air at the dining table. Eating a bowl of steaming hot soup noodles on a gradually chilling autumn night is a very comforting thing.

However, a bowl of noodles alone seemed insufficient to completely calm their hearts.

"Although Songzhi's cooking skills aren't as good as mine, the food you make always tastes especially delicious to me—the kind of deliciousness that I can't replicate." The girl wiped her mouth.

“There are always some differences between Chinese and Japanese methods,” Jun Matsueda said with a smile.

Washing the dishes didn't take long. By the time the boy took off his apron and walked out of the kitchen, Yosuke Kurusu had already turned off the TV.

"Songzhi hasn't answered my question from last night yet," the girl said, looking into his eyes.

Why didn't you choose me to date?

Yosei Kurusu wants to figure out exactly where he went wrong.

Jun Matsue sighed inwardly and sat down on the sofa opposite the girl.

"Actually, I think our relationship is the furthest from being a romantic one."

Yosuke Kurusu's eyes widened as the boy continued.

"In my eyes, you are much more mature than me."

"I'm not just talking about age—your attitude towards life, your determination to pursue your dreams, and your charming personality."

"You previously told me to be your number one fan, and I gladly accepted."

"Because in my heart, I am the one who has always been watching you from outside the stage."

“You are already a very complete person—your life is self-consistent, you treat your dreams as a career, and you find pleasure in the process of achieving them. Even if I had never been there, you would have lived a very good life.”

"The good I'm talking about isn't the good in the conventional sense, but rather that you're taking control of your own life."

"Of course, this kind of Kurusu Yosei is very attractive to me, and there are many memorable moments from the time I spent living with you."

"But I can't see through you, and I can't control you."

Do you really like me?

"When we first met, you only asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship. Later, when you were making an album, you also said that you didn't understand what it felt like to be in a relationship."

"You've never told me you like me."

The TV series they watched together once said that a guy who doesn't even have the courage to confess his feelings is no good, and Jun Matsueda believes the same applies to girls.

"So I thought that 'audience' and 'fans' were our tacit understanding."

Fans don't pry into their idols' lives.

"Kiyoshi, what is your opinion of me?"

The girl sat down next to him.

"Then I'll tell you."

Chapter 443 The Journey

"When I first met you, I was just curious about you."

Yosuke Kurusu sat on the sofa, his hands resting on his crossed legs, looking lost in memories.

"Where was that again?"

“Club seata,” Jun Matsueda added.

“Oh right.” The girl nodded. “I went through the wrong passage back then and that’s when I ran into you checking tickets.”

"At that time, the group I was in was on the verge of collapse."

Jun Matsue blinked; he hadn't heard the girl mention these things before.

"Some people are kept by sugar daddies, some keep male escorts, and some sell their bodies to get fans to spend money—anyway, they are all a group of people with no future."

"At that time, I no longer wanted to stay in the troupe, and Songzhi's appearance made me more determined."

"Do you know why?" Kurusu Yosei gently kicked him with her leg, a small gesture that the girl often made at home.

"Why?" Jun Matsuoka asked.

As he listened to the girl's story, his heart calmed down for a moment.

"Because the guy checking tickets is so handsome!"

“I had already started to hesitate before I met you—because I had no connections, I could only look for the lowest-level agencies, which were either rotten to the core or lacked resources, and it would take too long to get ahead.”

“In this situation, wouldn’t anyone consider going astray?” Kurusu Yosei said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Although much time has passed, Jun Matsueda's heart still tightened—the heretical path the girl spoke of, her former teammates were the best examples.

"So I was super surprised when I met you!"

The girl changed her sitting position, placing her hands on the sofa and bringing her upper body close to the boy's face.

"Someone with such a face is actually working there as a ticket inspector!"

"Since you work in performance venues, you must have met talent scouts and agents, and you must have been tempted by them."

"If you want to, you can certainly become a top idol like me, or at least a celebrity who can easily make money."

"But someone like you is working as a ticket collector!"

As if she had said something very funny, the girl's shoulders trembled and her legs swayed back and forth.

“What’s so funny? I wasn’t even an adult back then.” Jun Matsue took a sip of the barley tea on the table.

"So what if you're underage? There are still plenty of ways to make money with your looks!"

After laughing for a while, Laiqi Youse straightened up and looked at the balcony behind the boy. The weather was clear tonight, and the stars were twinkling.

"So when I see you like that, I know there are still people like me who persist in things that seem ridiculous to others."

“I made up my mind to leave that group and used the last bit of money in my account to pay the penalty for breach of contract. Staying there was no different from slow suicide, so I might as well find a new company sooner.”

"The so-called invitation to date is just an excuse—because of what my mother said, because of her interest in you, and because she has already made up her mind to back out, that's why she asked you if you wanted to date."

"But if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have left the group that night, and I wouldn't have moved into this apartment."

Fate is interconnected, the girl said with her exceptionally beautiful eyes.

Jun Matsue looked at the barley tea on the table, thinking at the time that it was just a girl's whim.

"Then?"

He wanted to hear more of the story.

"Moving in here was purely a coincidence." Yosei Kurusu patted the sofa he was sitting on. "But I was very surprised to find that you were my roommate. Besides, I really didn't have much money left after paying the rent. Without your help, I could only afford to take out a loan to buy the cosmetics for my interview with the talent agency."

"Actually, I think you could have been selected even without makeup."

Jun Matsueda couldn't help but make a comment.

He felt as if he had returned to the days when he first started sharing an apartment with the girl. Although it wasn't easy, it was certainly full of fun.

"You can't have that kind of mentality!" The girl waved her hand. "Even if it's just a small interview, you have to give it your all!"

"Yes, yes." The boy nodded.

"There's not much to say about what happened next—signing with a company, joining a new group, then being selected for a new project, and officially debuting..."

“Pine branch.” The girl’s face was close to his again. “Perhaps you think that I have been very successful and confident in my progress.”

"But my dream only started to take off after I met you."

Matsueda Jun blinked. Kurusu Yosei was too close; he could even feel the girl's eyelashes trembling—those incomparably beautiful eyes were right in front of him, their colors swirling like the Milky Way.

"You say I don't understand love or liking someone, maybe I really don't, after all, I don't have any problems with my mom."

"But I know that if you have a girlfriend, I would definitely want her."

When did this idea first come to you?

"At first I was wary of you—it was my first time sharing an apartment with a guy, and I only felt at ease after I realized you didn't try anything funny or your eyes weren't wandering around."

"Then I tried to tempt you every now and then to see your reaction, but you always seemed so relaxed and collected, it's really annoying!"

"Later, you watched me perform in my new group, have my debut performance, appear on TV shows, go to album stores together, experience dating, and record songs together..."

"I'm a normal girl too! Of course I'd be interested!"

"And you are the only person I have ever met who not only supports me but has never asked anything of me."

That's why I'm willing to live here with you forever!

Yosuke Kurusu pressed his hands against Jun Matsueda's head and rammed his forehead against Matsueda's.

“I originally thought we could take it slow, so I was a little greedy—thinking that at least I would have enough say in the company, and my relationship wouldn’t be put on hold so I could focus on winning you over.”

"And yet you actually started the conversation on your own without saying a word!"

"You always seem so at ease in front of me—but if you show even a little bit of interest in me, I'll definitely try to control you!"

"I'm scared too—if you really don't like me, can we still happily live together like this?"

"Hmm?" The girl made a cute nasal sound, looking at him intently.