Am I being simulated by their love affair?

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Page 360

"We'll do it tonight, have a sweet day on Sunday, and then you'll go back to your idol career and come back every two weeks or so?"

“I said before that it would be fine by the end of the year.” Kurusu Yosei’s eyes were extremely focused. “After the Budokan solo concert at the end of the year, I can take a break, have a long vacation, and go back to my apartment to live for a long time.”

"I know Matsue might bring up the fact that relationships can't be made public, but does that mean you can go public with both of your girlfriends now?"

The boy's gaze shifted away from hers.

"Which one is your official girlfriend?"

"...Tomatsu."

"No wonder Mochizuki is so angry..." the girl muttered, then raised her voice a little.

"Then there's no difference between you dating Mochizuki and you dating me!"

Why can't you accept it?

Looking at the blurry face of the boy beside her in the darkness, Yosei Kurusu frowned, unable to understand.

“Because you’re not here with me,” Jun Matsue said softly.

This is also why he made up his mind to reject the girl.

A bird, I don't know what kind, flew past the window, leaving behind a distant flapping sound.

"Moon is right beside me, and we share our time together. Being together day and night only deepens our feelings for each other; there's no possibility of them fading."

"Even when I was having a secret relationship with my senior, it was the same."

"This is something they can all do, but it's impossible to do it if you're dating an idol like Yosuke Kurusu."

Yosuke Kurusu fell silent, and the boy's voice became even softer.

"Kurasu, I can't lie to you, I do still have feelings for you."

"This is something we built up little by little, from rushing home together during a typhoon, buying discounted groceries together at the supermarket, and accompanying you on your debut stage."

"But that was a long time ago, you've been in the industry for a year and a half..."

At this point, Jun Matsue stretched out his right hand, hovering it in the small, dark space in front of the two of them.

"Of course, I know you've been trying to maintain our relationship, so my feelings for you haven't diminished much, and may have even increased a little."

The boy raised his flat hand, and the girl's serene eyes were fully revealed to him.

"But the affection I have for other people has increased dramatically."

A definitive silence filled the small bed.

"Kurasu, I'm sorry."

"...Why are you apologizing?" Kurusu Yosei's voice trembled.

"In the end, isn't it just that I haven't spent enough time with you?" She suddenly sat up from the covers and put on the shorts that had been pushed aside by the two of them.

"I'll call my agent right now and move back to the apartment starting tomorrow—it's just a little longer commute..."

"I'll buy a car during the long holiday at the end of the year, and we'll go on a road trip together—to Hokkaido, Izu, and Kumamoto and Nagoya, which we visited during the tour..."

For the first time, Yosei Kurusu felt such a profound sense of panic, and he even forgot that he couldn't drive to Hokkaido.

"Kurasu, that's enough." Jun Matsue sat up, stopping her from continuing.

"I don't need you to do any of that. Even if you announce your retirement or publicly announce your relationship now, it won't make a difference."

“I would much rather see you perform at the Budokan, or even the National Stadium and Tokyo Dome.”

"..."

"Can't you...can't you wait a little longer?" The girl's voice was trembling with sobs.

Jun Matsue was glad he couldn't see her face clearly.

If he were to see such a weak and helpless Laixi, his resolve, which he had just made tonight, might waver again.

It wasn't that the boys didn't want to wait, it's just that the girls surrounding them were too enthusiastic—

His life has been completely taken over by Mochizuki Haruka and Tomatsu Yuka, leaving no space for her.

"It's too late. There's no place left for Kurusu in my heart."

Jun Matsue finally said those words.

"What do you mean?" Kurusu Yosei looked at him. "Does Matsugae Jun want to distance himself from me?"

"...If you don't mind, we can still be good friends in the future."

The girl immediately grabbed his shoulders and shouted.

"How can a good friend be your number one fan?!"

Jun Matsue did not look into the girl's tear-filled eyes.

"Then I'll just have to give up being the number one fan."

"Is Pine Branch going to abandon me?!"

"If you insist on dating me, this is the only way."

The boy's words were clearly defined, a lesson he had learned from his previous failed breakup.

"Are you serious?" The girl's breathing became heavy.

"We were so happy together, weren't we?"

“…Stop talking about these things,” Jun Matsue said softly. “Think about other important things. You’re going to the Budokan at the end of the year.”

"I didn't say you weren't important!!"

Kurusu Yosei pushed hard against his chest, but the boy, who had been casually held down before, didn't move at all this time.

Sensing Matsueda Jun's determination, the girl finally raised her head.

"Hey, Pine Branch." She spoke in a deliberately cheerful tone, with a slightly hoarse tremor in her voice.

"Don't you really want to be with me?"

The boy did not answer.

"Don't regret it!"

“…I hope you won’t regret it.” Jun Matsue picked up the girl’s oversized T-shirt and draped it over her shoulders.

"You're going to be an idol who's going to perform at the Budokan, so don't worry too much about dating."

"Your dream can't just be about building a martial arts dojo."

"..." Kurusu Yosei looked at the clothes draped over his body.

She got this from Songzhi back then.

"I see."

Yosei Kurusu took a deep breath, her chest heaving as if she were inhaling back her tears and sorrow.

She got dressed, turned around, got out of bed, and left the boy's bedroom without looking back.

The footsteps were more hurried than when they came; the slippers clattered as they rushed back to the next room, and then there was no more sound.

Jun Matsue waited for a while, then quietly got out of bed and walked out of the room barefoot.

The bedroom door next door was wide open. He stood in the doorway, looking at the girl inside who had wrapped herself tightly in the blanket again.

Jun Matsue closed the door for her.

Looking at the wooden plaque on the door bearing the name of Yosuke Kurusu, he silently apologized again.

Sorry.

I can't wait for you.

Chapter 617 Rent

Jun Matsugae didn't sleep a wink all night.

Back in his room, the boy sat on the edge of his bed, leaning against the wall, listening to the cold silence from the other side of the wall.

He was afraid that if he couldn't sleep in Qiyang City, he might impulsively run out of the apartment and do something foolish.

So the boy sat by the window as the dim light of dawn broke.

While sitting listlessly on the bed, he turned on the lamp and started reading to pass the time.

The Little Prince.

Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World.

People Who Love

Since these were all books he had read before, reading them again was naturally much faster. After finishing the few extracurricular books on his desk, Jun Matsue opened the drawer of his bedside table and took out the photo album that Yosuke Kiyo had given him.

He didn't want to see the exclusive perks for the number one fan, but rather the debut journey that the girl showed to all her fans.

This time, the boy slowed down his reading. He flipped through the pages of photos, searching through his mind for the memories that Yosuke Kurusu and he had created together behind each moment.

Around six in the morning, a faint noise suddenly came from next door, which had been quiet all along. Jun Matsueda put down his photobook, listened carefully, and then confirmed that it wasn't his imagination.

The noise started to amplify, but quickly disappeared with a loud slam of the lid shut.

The sound of suitcase wheels followed, and slippers walked out of the room, finally stopping in front of the boy's door.

The sound disappeared from the spot. Jun Matsue got dressed, got out of bed, and opened the bedroom door.

Yosuke Kurusu, dragging a suitcase, appeared before him.

The girl was wearing a short, dark gray collared t-shirt that just reached her waist, paired with dark flared jeans that accentuated her long legs—she was no longer dressed in her usual casual home attire. Although it wasn't particularly sophisticated, it also clearly lacked her usual relaxed and carefree vibe.

She looked tired, and her eyes had lost some of their sparkle. Although there were no obvious dark circles under her eyes, she must have had a short and shallow sleep last night.

"You're awake." Kurusu Yosei was somewhat surprised.

Jun Matsue nodded. "I woke up earlier today."

The girl blinked, seemingly not quite believing him.

"..."

They both seemed hesitant to speak, a long-lost awkwardness appearing between them.

"I thought I should say goodbye to you before I leave." Yosuke Kurusu shook the lever in his hand.

"Anyway... I'm planning to leave. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Hmm." Jun Matsueda looked at the phone in the girl's hand.

Her bright pink phone case still had the "Hard to Get Rid of Wine" charm she had given him yesterday hanging on it, while deep blue waves swayed quietly.

Noticing the boy's gaze, Yosuke Kurusu quickly put his phone behind his back.

"What you gave me is mine now, and don't even think about taking it back!"

“…Hmm.” Jun Matsueda smiled.

The girl's original carefree and lively voice vanished in an instant. As Yosuke Kurusu picked up her suitcase, she reverted to her absent-minded and aloof demeanor.

"Well, that's all for now, I'm leaving."

"No need to see me off, the car is already parked downstairs."

Jun Matsue did not try to stop her. He followed the girl to the entrance and watched her bend down to change her shoes and then look up.

"The pine branch can stop here."

Yosei Kurusu opened the door, put on a hat and mask, and turned back to take one last look at the boy.

"I'm leaving."

This time, she finally remembered to close the door.

The girl's footsteps echoed through the closed metal door, sounding hollow and low compared to usual.

Jun Matsue stood in front of the entrance hall for a few minutes before turning around and walking towards the bedroom.

The boy stopped as he walked toward Qiyang's bedroom.

The wooden sign with the girl's name on it at the entrance is gone.


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